Whats life without happiness??

The life i have just isn’t working for me and why? Well if I know the answer to that ┬áid fix it, happiness is key to a good life people say but for me that’s always been missing. To date if achieved nothing i thought i would achieve in life .. My big plan was to be a normal lad with great friends, awesome girlfriend, go to uni and study to become a primary school teacher.

However none of that has happened, I barely have friends, never had a proper girlfriend and o yea 21 and still a virgin. The uni thing just never came within any distance of my life… I just feel like i have no purpose in life, when i look at others and see their success i just think “why cant that be me” or “I must be a really bad person in life seeing nothing works out for me”. Stuck in a crappy 9 to 5 job and in the consistent order of getting up for work .. work .. come home .. bed and then back in the same order again.

What do i do for fun .. well i go to my sisters house and hang out with her, her husband and kids. They love me because i am there for them, they know if they want anything i will do it, mind the kids etc .. I don’t mind at all seeing i’m not doing anything else with my horrendous life. However it feels like when they don’t need anything from me i’m a burden that’s just hanging around being annoying. They have a better life than me they are out with friends at least twice a week and for some sad reason i feel “jealous”. Why tho is it because they have a life or because im lonely and sad.

Life for me has never been smooth and happy, i feel lonely and sad and i know that sounds so stupid but its the truth. The world is moving on ,, everyone around me is getting on with their life’s but for me it just feels like i,m stuck and cant get back on the path of life. Happiness would mean everything to me but for some reason it just hasn’t found me yet …